Hey there.
I see it's becoming a habit of mine to write these things once a month...maybe that will change, but maybe it will stay the same. My routine really hasn't changed. I try to do something new on Tuesdays for my day off and I always hit my step goal. During my working days, not so much. Maybe if I could keep my phone on me during class but that isn't going to happen.
I lost sight of why I came here in the first place. When I started teaching classes and the learning curve was a bit challenging I started to repeat to myself lies that were coming from inside of me or from the enemy. When this happened I told myself I wasn't cut out to be a teacher and this couldn't possibly be my calling. I would never find what I am meant to do. Never will I have that job where I can say "I love my job." I started hating where I lived, regretting the apartment I chose, regretting moving and selling my car. I started to worry and grew anxious that I was never going to make enough money to live by. My anxiety took me to a dark place where I believed I would always be in debt and someone would hunt me down to get me into trouble. When I started to have panic attacks in public and couldn't breathe I knew I needed to reach out and talk to someone.
I called the one person who I didn't want to talk to and admit I was having these problems. That person was my dad. For a quick background, my dad also lived in Taipei quite a while ago and was laid off. If anyone would understand what I was going through it was him, but I didn't want to admit my failure. After a talk with him, he told me two things that have stuck with me and reminds me every day. One is that I have to live my life here like I believe that God sent me here for a purpose and a lesson to learn. The other is treating my workplace, kids, and surrounding area as my ministry. Since then I have felt so much love for the people around me and for where God has placed me. Now I can say I love being here in Taipei. I still have those worries creep up, but when it happens I push it aside and say "God's got me." It's all a matter of perspective.
